I've Loved You Since Day One
by BabyWonder7
Summary: Addison Montgomery and Alex Karev. After a short time spent in Los Angeles, Addison is ready to return to Seattle Grace, and is shocked when she hears some news that she never thought would be true.


**One shot, Addex. It was originally supposed to be Addek, but what can I say? I just started writing and this is what came out. Like I said though, it's intended to be a one shot, but it could also be a first chapter. Instead of picking up where it leaves off at the end, I would most likely write and fill in the time gaps. Does that make sense?**

**Basically, as far as the timeline goes, it starts just a few months after Addison leaves for California. All of the original interns are still interns, and Lexie is added in that group, just for fun. Don't hesitate to tell me what you think. Hope you like it!**

**Oh, and the italicized phrases that come about randomly in the chapter are thoughts of the main characters that are currently talking in the present.**

Disclaimer:** Sadly, I don't own anything.**

It was busy today, just like every other day. Nurses, interns, and surgeons crowded the hallways, carrying on various conversations including the latest gossip, which was actually about the superb surgeon herself. Addison Montgomery stood numb with her ankles crossed gracefully at the Seattle Grace nurses' station watching the blur of people passing by her. Her short stay in Los Angeles, Santa Monica to be more exact, turned out to be just that. After a year of being away from Seattle, aside from a few short visits, she was back gracing the halls of the well-known hospital once again. Now just six hours after arriving, she had her finished contract in hand, all she had to do was sign it and she'd officially be back. Back to Seattle, back to civilization, back to being a double board certified neonatal surgeon, and back to Addison Forbes Montgomery Shep-

"Shit." Addison murmured under her breath. It had been two years since the divorce, and yet she still often forgot that the last part of her name, one of her favorite parts and used to be one of the most important parts of her identity, had vanished with two signatures.

After the divorce, there had been Pete, the quack, who was really just a quick distraction from all of the changes going on in her life. They had grown to be good friends, but nothing more. She didn't want more, and he made it perfectly clear that he didn't either when he stood her up. Then there was Kevin, and he was… special. He made her feel alive, and gave her the hope that she could feel a love for another person, maybe even Kevin, like she did for Derek. He turned out to be just the safe choice, and in the end it didn't work out, like everything else ended up lately. The latest "fling" or really whatever you chose to call it was Wyatt. If you considered a spur-of-the-moment, needy kiss to be anything at all. She sure as hell did. One after the other, they all ended, and she was stuck back here; alone, and in desperate need of some attention from the opposite sex.

It's not that she didn't constantly have another guy throwing himself at her feet, but she wanted more. If she thought that she wanted the white picket fence and barbeque before, well she was wrong. She wanted it now more than ever, and she was done waiting for it. She couldn't help but think that maybe, quite possibly, her chance had already passed her by. Maybe she would be alone in the end.

For sixteen years she only saw her future with one man, Derek Christopher Shepherd. Now he was engaged. Memories flooded in as she pondered how the hell she was supposed to get through his upcoming nuptials with Ms. Meredith Grey in one piece.

.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.

_She gazed down with glassy eyes at her discovery. No, that wasn't the right word, because that would mean she was pleased with what she had found, and she was anything but pleased. Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd had always been the girl to pick herself back up and continue trying, but damn it how many times did she need to hurl herself off of the ground before Derek stopped pushing her down? _

_The nausea that had clouded her before had been lifted, giving her a chance to take a deep breath and think about how she was really feeling. Truth be told, she was trying her hardest not to let her emotions come pouring out of her. Sure she felt relieved and hurt and a million other things, but Addison wasn't the type to openly display her emotions._

_Any normal person would be curled up in a ball, trying desperately to wipe the tears from their eyes if they were in her situation; if their husbands left their dirty- ex-mistress's panties in their tux pocket, which is exactly what Derek Shepherd did with Meredith Grey's. She should've known. The bastard was staring at her the whole night. Did Fin notice anything? Did he know anything at all? Maybe she should sleep with the vet, piss him off one last time. God, he was infuriating!_

"How did we make it this long," _she asked herself out loud and thought about it for a moment's time, _"he's been like this for years, why did you wait this long?"

.-.~.-.~.-.~.-.

"Addison?" She was pulled out of her thoughts as Mark bounded down the hallway towards her with a huge grin on his face. "Addie, aren't you supposed to be in L.A.?" He wrapped his arms around her in a friendly, warm hug and then transferred his weight as he leaned on the nurses' station, throwing a wink at the newest, most naive one behind the desk before giving Addison his full attention.

"I'm back, Mark." She studied him and waited for his response and she closed a chart and handed it to a nurse with an appreciative smile.

"Back… to Seattle?"

"That would be-"

"I'm happy you're back, but surprised, that's all. I've missed you Add, we've all missed you. So, how come you're back? Is this about Karev?"

_It was so about Karev._

_No it wasn't, not yet anyway._

Addison knit her eyebrows together and made a confused face. "As in, Alex? Alex Karev?"

"Well yeah, he's been moping around the pit since you've left-"

"Wait, he isn't in plastics?"

"Nah, he's either in the pit or hanging around the Neonatal ward. I knew you were persuasive, but I never thought that you'd get Alex Karev to voluntarily join the Gynie Squad."

"Yeah… neither did I." She drew the words out in that famous way of hers.

_You were glowing._

_I was not!_

_You were ecstatic to know he liked your specialty!_

_Okay, so I was._

"So, anything new that I should know about?" She cocked an eyebrow and offered him a small smile. She had to admit that one of her guilty pleasures was embracing, and participating in, the Seattle Grace rumor mill. As long as the said rumors weren't about her, it was actually rather entertaining hearing about what's _actually_ going on in the other doctor's lives.

Mark thought for a moment before responding, "Well you know Shep is getting married," Addison nodded her head unenthusiastically, "I'm dating Lexie, Meredith's half sister, Callie is single currently but I think she's pining after this new Arizona girl, Chief and Bailey, well there's nothing really new with them."

"So Lexie Grey, huh? Why Meredith's sister, what is so intriguing about that family?" So she's still a little bitter, but who wouldn't be? And she honestly wanted to know the answer to that question. First Derek, and now Mark?

"She reminds me of you." He watched her expression change to a pleased-shocked type of face.

_That was sweet._

_I know._

"Me? How so?"

"Her personality is just like yours. She's there for me when I need her, when I'm hurt she lies with me, when I need someone to talk to she's by my side, and… you know. I think you two could actually become friends."

_I caught that sexual reference by the way._

…

"Well, we'll see about the friends thing. She's changed you, in a good way. I'm happy for you Mark, I really, really am. You deserve to be happy, just don't screw this up." She smiled a little smile and began to walk away when Mark called out to her one last time.

"Addison?" She turned on her heel quickly and met his eyes. "It's really nice to have you back. Like I said, you've been missed, by everyone. Oh and, you deserve to be happy too."

"Thanks Mark. It's really nice to be back."

Her heels clicked down the hall as she retreated to her new office. Richard had been telling the truth when he said he'd keep her office open. Everything looked as if she'd never left. She reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a black pen. It was time for her to start her new beginning… again. She signed her name in perfect cursive, blew on the ink to be sure it was completely dry, and walked out of her office with the papers in hand toward Richard's office.

"Addison?" His voice had a questioning tone, but once he was sure it was her, it became more assertive. "Addison! Wha- what are you doing back? Is that, is that a contract?"

_I was pissed._

_I know. Personally, I enjoyed it._

_I know, it was obvious._

"Derek. Hello," she spoke with an icy tone, "Yes, it's a contract, and I'm back. Back, for good. Now excuse me I need to get to Richard's office to drop this off. He wants me to start as soon as possible." She couldn't resist throwing in his face the obvious fact that she was the chief's favorite, as childish as it was. She knew it would, however, piss him off, the exact reaction that she had been hoping for. And it did.

_That was a little bitchy._

_You love it when I act that way._

_I love it when you act any way._

_Shut up, I'm married._

_So?_

.xoXox.

"Richard! How are you? How's Adele, the hospital?"

"Addie, it's great to have you back! Adele is great, the hospital is, getting better in the rankings. Things are going pretty well, better now that I have my star surgeon back."

"Oh Richard, you knew I wouldn't be able to stay away too long. You always know, don't you? I find it slightly sad that you know me better than myself some days." She glanced away, realizing what she had actually just admitted, and not only to herself, but aloud.

"Addie, how are you? Are you okay? Why did you really leave L.A.? I thought you were happy."

"I was, at first. I realized that my home is really where my friends, Mark, Derek, Callie, Miranda and everyone, and my family, you and Adele, are at. I couldn't be away any longer. So, I came back… and here I am. Back to where I started. In Los Angeles I had friends, the practice, the beach and Kevin, but then everything just fell apart. Naomi and I were constantly fighting, Kevin and I broke up, I didn't even go to the damn beach and-"

_You weren't alright._

_No, I wasn't alright._

"It's alright, I understand. If you ever need anything you know anyone here would be there for you, especially Adele and I. Just let us know. Now about that contract, I'll have Patricia file it as soon as she can. Welcome back, Addison." He grinned brightly and gave her a friendly hug.

"Thank you so much, Richard. I very much appreciate it." She smiled and walked out the door quickly, closing the door quietly behind her. She took a deep breath. _'So I'm home. Home, in Seattle. Never thought I'd say that.'_ Taking a deep breath she proceeded down the hall to check when her second, first surgery was scheduled.

.xoXox.

"Dr. Montgomery, it looks like I'll be your intern for today." Alex Karev stood in front of her with a pleasant smile on his face that replaced his usual cocky grin. Weird.

_I kinda liked that smile._

_I thought you would._

"Great, let's go Karev." She walked towards her patient's room with him trailing behind her. _'He still has the same effect on me. He doesn't want the things you do, Addison. Stop trying to convince yourself that he does.' _"So just prep Mrs. Anderson for surgery and I'll meet you in OR one. Kay?"

"Fine." Ah, there it was. In fact Alex hadn't changed, because there was that smart ass tone that he loved to use. Oh and there's the smirk.

"Fine." Addison spun on her heel and walked purposefully down the hallway, her heels clapping on the ground loudly.

.xoXox.

"Ten blade. So I heard you were working in neonatal a lot lately, Karev."

"Uh yeah. I guess."

_That was a lie._

_A bad one._

_You were always in there._

_Yeah, I was._

"So you're changing your specialty choice? I never thought you'd change it to my services."

"Yeah well, I wasn't planning on it, but I guess I changed my mind." She swore she could see his eyes squint a little. He was smiling under his mask, and she had no idea it was her fault.

_I actually did know you were smiling because of me._

_Sure you did._

_What, I did!_

"The mother is going to be fine, Karev come help me with the baby. Dr. Bailey will you close please?"

They both walked silently down to the NICU where the baby was under full care. There were a few complications, but other than that the surgery had gone surprisingly smooth. Alex's voice broke the silence. "Do you think she's going to be alright?"

"Yeah, she's a little fighter, she should be fine." Addison responded with a small smile. They walked through the doors and she immediately began checking Baby Anderson's vitals. "She seems to be doing better already, she's breathing on her own, steady heartbeat, perfect blood pressure… she should be perfect by morning. She's pretty isn't she? Strong grip too." Alex watched as Addison talked, realizing it was more so to herself than to anyone else. He walked up behind her, possibly a little closer than what would normally be considered "acceptable," but she didn't tense or move so he figured she was alright with it.

_It was a little close…_

_You didn't mind._

_No, I loved it._

_Yeah you did._

_Shut up._

"Your eyes light up when you talk about babies. You want kids, don't you?" He spoke in a hushed tone, and his breath tickled the back of her neck as she tried to resist a shiver.

She spoke not much louder than a whisper, but he was close enough that he could hear every word, breath, and crack in her voice. "I can't. I want one so badly, but I can't."

"Addison, you would be a great mother. You would love that kid more than anyone else in the world could, what do you mean you can't?"

_Sorry for pushing you._

_It's okay, someone needed to._

"I mean, Karev, that I can't. I can't have children because Karma decided to hate me. I can't have children because my ovaries joined Karma's team. I can't have children because I don't have a damn person to go home to at night, much less someone to have a baby with. I can't have children." There were tears in her eyes, begging to be let free, but she kept them in, just like she always does.

_You could've cried, I would've understood._

_I wouldn't have._

A simple "Oh" was all that he would allow to come out of his mouth.

"Go tell the father that his wife and baby are going to be fine."

"Okay." He rested a gentle hand on her shoulder and then left without another word.

.xoXox.

"So, you want to grab drinks at Joe's?" Addison was finishing putting her coat on as she stood in the intern's locker room threshold.

"Nah, I think I'm just going to head over to Grey's house. Party tonight. Hey, it's Meredith, there's going to be a lot of alcohol, want to come with me?"

She hesitated for a second, after all, it's Meredith. Her ex-husband's fiancé. Screw it. "I'd love to come."

.xoXox.

"Wow, she's smashed." Addison and Alex were starring at a glossy eyed Meredith as she danced on the table.

"Alex! Bring the tequila baby boy! Bottoms up!" Christina shouted out to him drunkenly, and he got up off of the couch to find more. After setting the new bottle down on the table he turned the music down, and then back up after getting screamed at, and then made his way back over to a tired Addison. Almost everyone was gone now. There was only the interns, Derek, Burke, and Addison still over. The house was trashed, along with majority of its residents. Tomorrow would be fun.

"You look tired, want me to take you home?"

"I don't wanna get up." She wined like a little girl.

_You just wanted to sleep with me._

_I wanted to sleep on the couch._

_Sure._

"Okay, well then I'll get some blankets and carry you up to my room and you can sleep in there tonight."

"Where are you supposed to sleep?"

_Next to me._

_I wanted to say that so bad._

_You should've, I was tipsy, I probably would've said yes._

_Damn it._

_Awww._

"I'll sleep down here once everyone leaves." He gave her a reassuring smile in response to her unsure one.

"Okay… if you're sure." She seemed slightly disappointed, but he decided it surely wasn't because of what he thought.

"I am." He helped her off of the couch and led her upstairs, opened the door, and pulled down the sheets. "I'll grab something you can sleep in."

"Thank you. It feels so good to lay down in a bed. That couch is terrible."

He chuckled lightly. "I know. All I have are these boxers and a big shirt, do you mind?"

"No that's great, that's what I used to sleep in when De-, that's fine."

"Okay, well I'll be downstairs if you need anything, do you, need anything?"

"No thanks, I think I'm good. Night."

"Goodnight, Addison."

"Alex? Thank you, by the way, for letting me stay the night."

"No problem." I love you.

_I love you too._

.xoXox.

Three years later.

"You look gorgeous." Alex looked at Addison adoringly. She really did look stunning. She walked towards him, with one hand on her large stomach and another outstretched, giving him a quick kiss and hug.

"How was your day?" They sat down on the couch, Addison in his lap with her back turned to him and his arms around her waist. She placed both hands on her stomach, and he placed his atop hers.

"It was good, how was home? Did you do any more in the nursery?"

"I wanted to wait for you. I didn't know what color to paint it. I'm thinking either a light baby pink, or a pale purple."

"See, this is why we should've started earlier." He kissed her neck sweetly, to let her know he wasn't upset. "I think the baby pink."

"Yeah? Okay, me too. I'll have the painters come tomorrow, and I'll order the crib and everything tomorrow since you're going to be home."

"How are the cravings today? Is it still chocolate?"

"Chocolate, salsa, cranberries, and apple butter." She rattled off the foods proudly. "I couldn't decide which one I wanted first, so I mixed it together." Alex crinkled up his nose in disgust, although her cravings were incredibly adorable.

"Well, I got you some more chocolates, just in case."

"See, this is why I keep you around." She gave him a lopsided grin, to let him know she was only joking. He placed the box in her hand, and ordered that she save the biggest one for last. As Addison worked her way down to the last chocolate truffle, Alex flipped through the channels. When he realized she only had the biggest one left, he picked it up before she could get to it first.

"Hey! That's mine." She pouted.

He split it open before she could complain anymore, and revealed a stunning diamond ring, sitting in the middle of a presentation box. "Addison, Addie look at me." She turned around in his lap, mouth open wide and eyes glistening with happy tears. A lone tear slipped down her cheek and into her lap. "I've loved you since day one. I've never wanted anything as badly as I want you. Addison, you're so incredibly talented, beautiful, loving and generous. You've taught me so many things, about being the best doctor, and person, I could possibly be. I'd be lucky to spend the rest of my life with you. You and baby Brendalyn-Claire are the most important things in my life. All I want is to be by your sides, always and forever. There's only one more thing that I could possibly ask for to make my life any more perfect than it already is, and that's, Addison Forbes Montgomery, marry me?"

_That night was amazing._

_You're amazing._

_Did you know Brendalyn kicked as soon as you asked? It's almost like she was telling me to say yes._

_She's a smart little girl._

_Aren't you happy she got what she wanted?_

_Incredibly._

**Alright, time to tell me what you thought. I hope you guys enjoyed it, because I really enjoyed writing it. Oh, and hopefully the ending wasn't too cheesy, but I'm the hopeless romantic and I couldn't really write it any other way. Believe me, I tried, but I stuck with this version. I've always imagined Alex as the closet romantic type of guy, so there ya go. Review?**


End file.
